MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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