You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize