Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
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Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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