Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
