I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
