two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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