they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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