i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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