At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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