no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
