dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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