he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
