She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
