Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
