I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
