Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
