It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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