Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Shame - the story of my life.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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