Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
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We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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