Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
