It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
it's like iHOP with fire
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
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