i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
