You work out of a Hotel?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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