P.S. I can't hear my feet
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
