So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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