"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i out mim tonsoeep
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