maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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