I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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