I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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