I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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