Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
