You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
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I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
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She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on