I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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