"it" just moved
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
