They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
