you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
