I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
