apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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