Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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