i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Holy shit dude........stairs
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