Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
