i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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