wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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