did you get engaged???
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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