I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.