Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

come over anyways, right now, right this second

(850): View more from Florida

it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying

(561): View more from Florida

wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation

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(850): come over anyways, right now, right this second (850): it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying (561): wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation http://tfl.nu/cwsr

Replies (28) Good night (938) Bad night (3118)
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(925): View more from California

Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'

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(925): Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots' http://tfl.nu/c9v2

Replies (4) Good night (2994) Bad night (760)
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(661): View more from California

Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil

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(661): Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil http://tfl.nu/8mk8

Replies (10) Good night (1851) Bad night (1244)
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(904): View more from Florida

I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.

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(904): I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff. http://tfl.nu/e8i1

Replies (13) Good night (2606) Bad night (1021)
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(661): View more from California

He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!

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(661): He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth! http://tfl.nu/q4tp

Replies (23) Good night (2552) Bad night (1333)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills

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(704): I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills http://tfl.nu/vb73

Replies (10) Good night (1952) Bad night (652)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.

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(608): they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball. http://tfl.nu/n9al

Replies (4) Good night (1347) Bad night (1232)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?

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(775): Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear? http://tfl.nu/c8pp

Replies (2) Good night (1279) Bad night (548)
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(979): View more from Texas

A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.

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(979): A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her. http://tfl.nu/dqlo

Replies (12) Good night (1003) Bad night (1875)
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(613): View more from Ontario

You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.

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(613): You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you. http://tfl.nu/xki1

Replies (6) Good night (1876) Bad night (781)
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(720): View more from Colorado

The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.

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(720): The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby. http://tfl.nu/rm20

Replies (3) Good night (972) Bad night (400)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

How's dating the med student working out for you?

(715): View more from Wisconsin

After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.

(414): View more from Wisconsin

A true anatomy project.

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(414): How's dating the med student working out for you? (715): After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was. (414): A true anatomy project. http://tfl.nu/in9w

Replies (2) Good night (1101) Bad night (350)
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(720): View more from Colorado

He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....

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(720): He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ.... http://tfl.nu/i5f3

Replies (3) Good night (571) Bad night (857)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits

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(775): He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits http://tfl.nu/c5ul

Replies (4) Good night (802) Bad night (540)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Naked.

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(202): I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out. (202): Naked. http://tfl.nu/m66x

Replies (1) Good night (565) Bad night (704)

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