i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.