Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Writing my paper on freud at bar

  (917): View more from New York City

  ??

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children

  (917): View more from New York City

  Smooth

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  (203): Writing my paper on freud at bar (917): ?? (203): Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children (917): Smooth http://tfl.nu/hb6n
  Replies (8) Good night (1830) Bad night (846)
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  (951): View more from California

  Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.

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  (951): Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already. http://tfl.nu/bhvw
  Replies (64) Good night (5088) Bad night (1022)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.

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  (512): Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits. http://tfl.nu/amvg
  Replies (42) Good night (5278) Bad night (805)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.

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  (402): Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl. http://tfl.nu/cd5h
  Replies (20) Good night (5616) Bad night (859)
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  (845): View more from New York

  tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.

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  (845): tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious. http://tfl.nu/7ow8
  Replies (14) Good night (5573) Bad night (2312)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit

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  (301): and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit http://tfl.nu/fjd7
  Replies (8) Good night (4604) Bad night (1100)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween

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  (978): Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween http://tfl.nu/fww2
  Replies (38) Good night (6439) Bad night (1404)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.

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  (443): Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that. http://tfl.nu/hvnx
  Replies (11) Good night (4754) Bad night (1334)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

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  (734): I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. http://tfl.nu/46aj
  Replies (5) Good night (2025) Bad night (1223)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?

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  (412): judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night? http://tfl.nu/fs5d
  Replies (4) Good night (2200) Bad night (962)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.

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  (608): Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship. http://tfl.nu/pyi6
  Replies (6) Good night (1544) Bad night (656)
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  (315): View more from New York

  So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.

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  (315): So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt. http://tfl.nu/iloo
  Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (413)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.

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  (813): Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now. http://tfl.nu/4fdt
  Replies (13) Good night (765) Bad night (527)
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  (315): View more from New York

  she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho

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  (315): she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho http://tfl.nu/b0zw
  Replies (4) Good night (837) Bad night (376)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties

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  (816): I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties http://tfl.nu/x6rh
  Replies (0) Good night (783) Bad night (278)

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