He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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