a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
