HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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