Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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