The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
And then he peed in my hair
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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