I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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