I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You dont lie about slip and slides
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
