we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
