i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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