this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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