I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
