theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
