Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
