listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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