People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
