i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
