Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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