At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
